another night

Had another terrible night of sleep. I keep thinking when its going to end. When will I be able to sleep well again. Who knows. I know HOW it could end, but that's probably not going to happen. Got so much on my mind these days. So many things to do, so many things to take care of and so many things on my mind. It's all hard to deal with. Wish I was on the other end. Seems so easy to be on the other side of the coin. Looking, feeling and making it out that you got everything you want and need. That would be nice to be in that position. To be in that state of mind. Unfortunately I'm not there. So many things I wish were different that I can't change, that probably won't change. Sometimes you just do all you can do and then you have to let it go I guess. Not easy when you feel you have more to lose than gain. It's easy to look back and say if I could do this or that maybe things would be different for me. And who knows, maybe it would be. All I can do is try and change today for tomorrow and hope for the best.

For my daughter. I love you. So much. Every day I don't see you I miss you terribly. I strive every day to be the better dad than I was the day before. I know I make mistakes, but we are learning together :) it amazes me how smart you already are. I love watching you grow. Wish I could see you grow and develope every day. No matter what though I will always love you. You will always be daddys little princess and probably nobody will be good enough for you in my eyes :) I hope you never get to big or old to give your daddy kisses and hugs because I would miss them too much. I will make you proud that I am your dad. I will be the best dad I can be too you. Above it all never forget that daddy loves you and always will, no matter what!